Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I'm not sure what type of discussion this thread is meant to start but I will post anyway.

Over the past few days the old term 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' has echoed in my mind.

I think this is partly because I met someone recently who reminded me of a girl I knew at school who I always felt was unjustifiably thought of as unattractive. She was studious, a bit 'geeky' to many, dressed sensibly, was not bothered by the latest trends or fads, wore glasses which people said didn't suit her, was very intelligent, had a wonderful sense of humour and was extremely nice to people. People could be merciless about how she looked and genuinely did not think of her as attractive. I thought she was wonderful and very attractive, something that some friends who were a few years older than me agreed (without my asking their opinion) when they met her once, saying she was 'hot'. As it turns out she has not changed much over the years and I know she is still a very attractive woman today.

On the other hand there were several girls who were 'popular' that people drooled over. They were vain, bitchy, acted thick even if they had a good brain in their heads, self centred, etc, etc. You get the idea, the 'in crowd' girls. They were often talked about, comparing their 'beauty' and how 'sexy' they were. I have to say I was never impressed and whilst I do not judge people by how they look normally, when so much emphasis is placed on the importance of this by such unattractive people about themselves, well, what can I say. I just have to be truthful and say they varied from very unattractive to plain to look at. Their characters at the time was what made them really ugly though imho. As far as I am aware, whilst some of them grew to blossom into truly beautiful people with hearts of gold, most just disappeared into obsurity or worse still, are adult versions of the sad, vain, self centred and ugly people they were as children.

The fashion industry puts forward some of the most bizarre looking women in the world, touting them as the perfect examples of beauty. Errr, on which planet do they mean?

Anyhow, this is all just observation. The truly beautiful are not seen and the truly ugly can be seen as beautiful if they are in the right crowd. What a strange world.

What are your opinions on this subject?

Hmm, that's an interesting point of view and one for an entire topic in itself I think. Perhaps I am much more cynical than I realised as I really do not believe that we are all born 'beautiful' if you are talking from a spiritual point of view.

Logmadr wrote:

Hey, some people are hot, sexy, mmm mmm tasty, but not a lot of people these days are beautiful, though I have to say....nearly everyone on this forum is beautiful in my eyes ..

Awww, we feel so loved!!

I believe it is looks that make you beautiful in one respect, but also personality is amazingly beautiful too. I find people are attratcive because of there personality's, but also found them attractive, but them be arseholes and thus dislike them immensely.
Everyone now days is 'obssessed with the the best dressed and whose having sex' to quote Bowling for Soup. I know some girls think that 'putting themselves out there' also makes them attract. It doesn't, you just lose all self-respect for yourself.
i think some people can be born with a nasty streak in them. Its part of there personality.

Logmadr wrote:

Niiiiiiiiice Bowling for Soup refernce....I need to read that

And of course I am attracted by looks, but if someone is like, Angelina Jolie HOT and yet she's a bitch, I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole...

Yes you do. Good lyrics.
And i'll agree with you there, i wouldn't either. Thats what i was trying [and unsuccessful, it would seem] say, lol =]

Thanks for your comments. Superbly put.

I get it when it is as simple as physical beauty=attraction. Unpleasant character=less attraction. Dead simple.

What I never got at school was this logic did not seem to apply. It appeared to be more about peer pressure and conformity. How this blinds people to natural beauty is beyond my comprehension to this day. In my opening post the girl I mentioned was what I would call a classic beauty yet no-one saw it because she was a 'swot'. I never understood it then and I still don't understand it now.

People think they need to become something they aren't to 'fit in'.
I've witnessed it countless times, and i hate seeing it. I want people to be themselves, because that's all i can be. If i'm with someone whose faking, trying to become someone they aren't i feel awkward arounfd them. I feel like i'm not on the same level as them, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
I'll respect people for being themselves, even if i don't like the 'real them'.

Personality is the most important thing that makes some however you cant all truly say that you have never looked at someone walking in the street without knowing anything about there personality and for a moment think christ they are ugly! Even if its just for a spilt second!

I think there is a beauty in diverse things combined. Beauty can exist in all types of look - it's almst independant of actual looks - bullies are conventionally "ugly" and have their little gang around them, or conventionally "beautiful", complete with group. Jealousy is a terrible illness. People are quick to judge and you find that those people everyone thought were beautiful, didn't actually know it themselves, nor did they know they were picked on because of it.
I think that a flower or tree is beautiful...and that sexual attraction has nothing to do with looks though it might have something to do with eye contact, but is otherwise almost intangible - true attraction that is.
I also think I appreciate the fact that models are "wierd" looking - having been considered wierd-looking all my life!!!!! heheehe! (that's my two-pennie's worth, anyway!)

It's part of self-nuturing isn't it? Everyone is different - the Celts were very big on looks, the Vandals/Goths less so....I love fashion and creating effects with make up etc in the same way I appreciate architecture...I dress to please myself too and explore different aspects of myself, sort of outside in!!!!!! I also know that my idea of what is beautiful might be different to others - I do appreciate what I find beautiful in a man or a woman though....I have to say that "ugliness" fascinates me though and the more you look at it - whether it is urban squalor or human, the more you see the beauty there - actually niothing is ugly....there is always something there....it is about our own eyes and how we view the world.

Absolutely - and then it's not beauty. Oscar Wilde 's Dorian Grey always makes me think that....! But trying to see the beauty is more positive for me at least - though both ways of looking can inspire art!!!!!!

As well though.... people can be shy and burnt by life and I think we can light those people up til they are confident to show the sparkly spirit inside...and as healers it is part of what we do......

beholding is in the beauty of the eye...

Wow, loads of excellent points and points of view. I have to say my own views mirror Witch-in-Ice pretty closely from what I've read so far.

I have to add though that for me it is very hard to seperate physical and inner beauty to judge by one or the other. As Aurora said quite plainly there are those that others just instantly will amke the judgement that they are physically ugly. This is a fact. Particularly as it is natural human instinct to look for the best matching 'mate' and physical attributes are part of that process.

But for someone like me it is not that straightforward. I do not seek a mate and so do not look for a physical match for me to propogate the species. I also do not like to judge people's character by how they look (although I still fall into this sometimes) so a part of me mentally blocks out how people look so in a way I have 'trained' myself out of seeing people. Gina has lost count the number of people I have met who I can tell an entire life story about and state an overview of their character but not know what the person looked like beyond the fact they were male or female and an approximate age.

Just my view anyhoo.

Hehehe - well, give yourself time Logmadr!

Extra thoughts on this topic are that we seek the imperfect....and mystery.....the perfection is bland - there are no teasers there!!! Wish we were just attracted to the good spirit within - but that doesn't explain why "good girls" go for the " bad boy type" and he often goes for her...and the" nice boy" goes for a vixen and she for him! The eternal mystery of the other......! In reality what one person finds beautiful is a total enigma to another person...the classic "What does he/ she see in him?????"