BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!!

Subject: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:11 pm

Yes I am taking the piss out of myself! It's Fun!

Theres a brunnette standing by the side of the road going ' 31 31 31 31 31 31 31 31 31' and an blonde walks up and goes 'What the hell are you doing? Why do you keep saying 31??' and the brunette replies 'stand in the middle of the road and you'll find out'. So the Blonde does. A car comes and runs her over. The brunette then starts shouting '32 32 32 32 32 32 32 32!!'

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:21 pm

Hehehehe - that is a brilliant joke, Sacha!!! Thanks for posting it.

NOTE TO TOMI - Look out ... your crown (joker's hat) might be under threat!!!

Senior Member Gender : Age : 33 Posts : 1467

A life time of good jokes and Sacha makes one funny and my title is take away?!

Jeez, i feel loved and appreciated!! HEHEHE

Love it Sacha!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:24 pm

Your title has not (yet) been taken away ... just a suggestion that it may be under threat!!! LMAO

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:26 pm

Logmadr wrote:: A life time of good jokes and Sacha makes one funny and my title is take away?!

Jeez, i feel loved and appreciated!! HEHEHE

Love it Sacha!

I think you are stretching it with 'good' jokes there lover =P

Tee hee =]]

Official Post Master Gender : Age : 56 Posts : 799

Very good. lol!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:55 am

Excellent Sabouki!
On a similar note - my mum (a natural brunette) was teaching me to bike ride when i was little and we were to make a right hand turn. "Pull into the middle of the road..." She said (into the natural position for turning right..) I measured the road width ways and pulled over to the kerb(!)
Actually that is my biggest blonde streak - I love to travel, but get lost around anything connected to transport matters - have spent hours lost at the wrong bus stop in the wrong town! Ummmm, I'll stop now... Rolling Eyes

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 8:53 am

LMAO! Don't worry Nikki, my LIFE is just one great, big, blonde moment. I'm literally stumped when it come to common sense and other things like that. Public transport...dont get me started on that....i've been at more wrong bus/train/tube stations than the frivers most liekly!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:51 am

how do you know a blonde has been on your computer?

Spoiler:

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Spoiler:

how do you keep a blonde busy for several hours?

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:22 am

Oh thank you - this is proving to be an excellent thread ... I really needed the laugh!!!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:06 pm

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table when a very attractive blonde woman from Northeast Tennessee arrived. She bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby....Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down....and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral - Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But all men... are men.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Spoiler:

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A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."

"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.

"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.

The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."

"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

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11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The blondes all applauded.

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A Blonde's Year in Review:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later,the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:19 pm

Hehehehehe - I love these, Lizzie ... rofl

Senior Member Gender : Age : 33 Posts : 1467

I think these are absolutely timelesss....

Junior Member Gender : Age : 34 Posts : 68

You're so blonde you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side... Very Happy

...my dog did this once...she cut her paws on a barbed wire fence when she stood up to look over (rather than through) it... Razz

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:26 am

A blonde goes into a car mechanics, and asks if they can replace the seven-hundred-and-ten in her car. The mechanics have never heard of a seven-hundred-and-ten so they ask her what it is.

The blonde replies that she doesn't know exactly what it does, but it's a small piece in the middle of the engine, and it had always been there, and now she had lost it.

Still clueless, the mechanics asked her to draw te component on a pice of paper, so she drew a circle and wrote "710" in it.

Finally, one of the mechanics took her to another car and asked her if that car had a seven-hundred-and-ten. She replied that it did, and prompty pointed to it. The mechanics all fell about laughing.

If you don't know what a seven-hundred-and-ten is, go to this link.

http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:45 am

that one is brilliant!

Subject: Re: BEST BLONDE JOKES EVER!! Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:25 am

Oh, Lizzie ... that is absolutely classic!!!!!!!!!! rofl

We really needed that opportunity to laugh out loud - thank you

» one of my fav jokes from the end of the vicar of dibley